Parents of children with eating disorders can have troubles knowing what to do and how to help their teens. With the proper resources, parents can begin to support their children on the road to recovery.
Parents are supposed to know what to do, but when it comes to eating disorders, they can be confused as to how to help. While it may be tempting to simply force a child to eat, other parents deny their children have problems until it is too late. By learning how to deal with eating disorders, parents can begin to take a more active role in the health of their children.
The Feelings You’re Feeling
There are no right and no wrong feelings right now. As a mother or father, your sole purpose has been to nurture, love and to protect your child since the day they were born. You fill their needs and will do almost anything to safeguard their health and happiness. So, when your child is in pain, a parent’s first instinct is to ease that pain and ultimately eliminate it. But eating disorders require more than just a bandage and a kiss.
As your child grows and learns to experience life, it will become more difficult to protect them from everything that may arise. The world is their playground and they have lots to explore and discover; it’s how they will learn and also it’s how they will discover who they are. Sometimes, you do have to sit back and watch as your child makes mistakes and, hopefully, learns from them.
What Causes Eating Disorders?
As a parent, you want answers when your child is in pain. But finding that underlying factor of an eating disorder is not always an easy task. Your child may have seemed happy and you may never have suspected that your child has suffered from an eating disorder. Sometimes kids, especially teenagers, don’t always talk about their inside feelings, they fear no one will understand them and even that someone will be angry at them for feeling the way they do.
Once you know or suspect that your child has an eating disorder, getting them professional treatment becomes extremely important. Never forget that eating disorders are life threatening conditions. Kids will often lead you to believe that it’s not that bad or that they will change but that is not always the case. Don’t always take their word that their behavior will change or even stop. Don’t let their begging and pleading sway you away from getting them the help they need and deserve. Their disease is stronger than them and it’s stronger than you.
Treating a Child with an Eating Disorder
When it comes to treatment for you child, this will be a difficult task. Your child may become defensive and even nasty towards you should you make decisions regarding their health. Their eating disorder has become their way or coping or dealing with something, hiding pain and emotions, making them feel good, they don’t want you to take it away. They may say awful things because they are scared and they feel they are in control.
If your child is under 18, you will have to make these difficult decisions about their health and their treatment. You may have to look into what options are available to you. Some children fare well with outpatient treatment while others are better off with inpatient treatment. Discuss your options with their pediatrician.
If your child is over 18 there isn’t a whole lot you can do. All you can do at this point is listen to your child and give them the support they need to make the right choices for their health and well being. Hopefully, they will take care of their health.
Communication with Your Child
Sometimes, it might feel like nothing you say will help, but your child is probably listening, even when it seems they aren’t. Talking to your child and keeping the lines of communication open is essential. If there comes a time where you can’t talk to your child, it creates more distance and your child will feel even more distant and alienated. Some parents feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say but the more you talk, the more these feelings will fade and talking will become easier.
When dealing with a child who has an eating disorder, your patience will certainly be put to the test. There will be times your anger will seem to get the best of you and you may say things that you regret later. While this is sometimes hard to avoid, you really have to make an effort to control your anger. Being gentle with your child is the best decision to make as you are dealing with a person who wants to control their life and if you attack that control, this may make them all the more resolved to continue with their behaviors.
Find the Support You Need
You probably find that your child’s eating disorder is affecting your life as much as it is your child’s life. It is important for you to find a forum in which you can vent your feelings and emotions where others can relate and understand. Other parents who have traveled this road with their child can often give you the support and advice like no one else. You should head to the Internet for help, as you already have. There are chat rooms and mailing lists that offer a forum for parents to discuss their children who have been afflicted with an eating disorder. There may also be support groups in your area for parents of children with eating disorders.
Other family members may give you grief over how you are handling a situation, but it’s best to ignore others for now. Listen to the therapists, the doctors, and to your own heart. Your child can overcome their eating disorder – and you are their parent are helping them as much as possible.