Mothers often succumb to eating disorders just as teens and other younger women do. With the added pressure to be the perfect caregiver, eating becomes a way to establish control again.

Mothers aren’t immune to eating disorders. While some feel there is a time in life when we should be able to avoid eating troubles, mothers also have problems controlling their eating. What starts as a diet becomes an obsession, one that is isolating and embarrassing – and often unnoticed.

How Many Mothers Have Eating Disorders?

As mothers, women are supposed to be the nurturers and caregivers. When mothers begin to have troubles with eating, they can be so ashamed, they often never seek help or confess their illness and struggles. This shame and utter embarrassment often leads to great isolation and despair. Women from 30 to 65 years of age are often just as vulnerable to eating disorders as though much younger. And you might be one of these women.

Not Just a Teen Problem

It is important to keep in mind, that eating disorders do not just affect adolescents. Television, magazines and the media in general bring up the issues of eating disorders in younger individuals yet fail to raise the issue of older women and women with children who also suffer. As women get older, they go through different changes on our lives. Becoming wives and mothers means new responsibilities and new expectations from others and from ourselves.

The Challenges of Mothers with Eating Disorders

As a mother, the needs of our children come first. But things change when a mother has as eating disorder. While many mothers would like to seek treatment, often the needs of their children must be their priority and they often fail to seek the help they need. Another challenge is when a mother requires needs to be hospitalized. What happens to her children?

Women fear their children will be taken away. Many women don’t want and will refuse to be separated from their children to be hospitalized. Not all women have strong support systems and resources available and even when they do, sometimes there is a financial cost that cannot be met. Single mothers have great difficulty as they lack the support and help that a spouse can bring. Marriages can also be affected by an eating disorder.

The Whole Family Shares the Eating Disorder

Eating disorders affect an entire family and can cause stress to your children. All aspects of motherhood can became more difficult and many find it extremely difficult to cope. While mothers feed and care for their children very well, they are often physically tired and fatigued. Mothers may fear they are never going to get better, which causes them to isolate and withdraw from their children.

Here are some things to keep in mind if you are a mother who is dealing with an eating disorder:

• Support system – Make sure you kids have all the support, understanding and comfort they need. If you can not be around, make sure someone is. Look into organizations which can help.
• Education – Kids should have some idea of what eating disorders are and why they happen. Like anyone, it is easier to understand something if you have some facts. Let your children know that recovery is possible and that an eating disorder is not necessarily a death sentence.
• Listen – Encourage your kids to talk about their own feelings and emotions. The longer you listen, the safer they will feel about sharing feelings when they come up again.
• Therapy – Sometimes families will need outside professional help to aid them in working out their problems and difficulties.

You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. By showing your children how to handle a difficult situation, they can learn how to handle future difficult situations in their own lives. Hopefully they won’t have to deal with eating disorders when they are mothers, but if they do, you will have shown them how.